Where is the Sibling Love? April 17, 2008
Lately, my house has been a war zone. My two kids can not/will not get along and it’s driving me NUTS! My youngest will be turning 4 next week and she has been reminding us EVERYDAY that it will be her birthday soon. She tends to rub it in a lot and I think my 6 yr son is just tired of hearing her talk about her party. I think he forgets he does the same exact thing in December when it is his birthday.
Time-out doesn’t work with this dilemma (in my eyes) so I thought HUGGING IT OUT would work. I was wrong! When they started fighting I separated them and explained this is not the way to treat family. I wanted the kids to hug until they could calm down and say sorry to each other. Well the 4yr old decides to chomp down on the 6yr old shoulder because he pinched her arm. That was fun. Back to the drawing board!
I took out a couple parenting books (yes I do read these) and came up with a new plan. My kids love to earn prizes, treats, or little outings so I found the perfect solution to our sibling rivalry. Bean Counters! Every time we see them treating each other nice, with respect, or even doing something for the other one we will put a bean in their jar. Now if we see them fighting, teasing, or anything that we feel is inappropriate behavior towards the other one then they get a bean taken away. The jars I found are a little bigger than a baby food jar so I think it might take them a couple weeks to fill up. It’s worth a shot. Because I just want to pull my hair out!
Does anyone else have something that works in their house?
I bribe, I threatened, and i don’t read parenting books because they don’t work. Trust me on this. I have 5 children. My thing is as long as there’s no blood or no crying, everythign is fine.
Seriously though, don’t sweat it. It’s a part of growing up. They need to have sibling rivalry. This is just practice for the more difficult conflicts that will come later in life.